usman

A farmer decides its time to tell his son how he breeds the animals. He explains about the cows and the bull, the mares and the stallion and the ewes and the ram. But he also decides to tell his boy about their one lame pig. ‘Unfortunately she can’t walk far, so when she’s in … Read more

A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig. She called it “Stinky” when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it “Ballpoint” when it was in the sty. “Tell me,” asked her father, “Why do you have two names for your pig?” “That’s easy,” she replied, “Ballpoint is just … Read more

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, When it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. … Read more

One day, an elderly man Jimmy was walking down Main Street when he saw his old buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. “Bubba, where’d you get that truck?!” “Mary gave it to me,” Bubba replied. “She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda … Read more

An elderly guy sticks his head in the barbershop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About two hours.” The elderly guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, “How long before I get a … Read more

An Elderly Cowboy Slim Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. He said, “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral.” Cowboy Slick said, “You mean the parking lot?” Slick was a bit more worldly than Slim. Slim … Read more

A dying grandma tells her grandchild, “I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash.” The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, “Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn’t even know you had a farm. … Read more

A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, “Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds What are you doing here?” The doctor replied, “Remember that lousy real estate … Read more

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a moped, looking about 100 years … Read more

Once a doctor asked a 100-year-old man and his 98-year-old wife for their health secrets. The old man said “I’ll tell you my secret. I’ve been married for 75 years. I promised my wife when we got married that when we quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 kilometres. So I’ve been walking 5 … Read more